Background Information
- In Denmark, train rides are expensive (each ride is about an additional S$15 just for a short trip).
- There is only a ticketing booth, but no gantries to ensure that commuters have paid for train access.
- This is solely based on a trust system. Inspectors only occasionally come onboard to check.
The Situation
Nine of us decided to take a day trip around the city of Denmark. Our objective was to cover as much of the city as possible. John, my closest friend in the group, had taken the liberty to plan our trip, with us taking the quickest route around the city.
During the trip, John revealed that, in order to save on travelling time, we would travel by train despite the fact that the next destination would only be a stop away. When I heard this, I thought to myself that this would mean incurring unnecessary costs for ourselves and moreover, all of us were fit enough to walk the short distance. It was here that I suggested that we walk to the next destination since it would only take us an average of twenty minutes by foot.
John replied that they were not paying for the train rides as he had found a foolproof method of deceiving payment. Hence, there was no chance of getting caught if the train inspectors checked. The rest of the group nodded their heads in agreement, without much hesitation and thought. However, it dawned upon me that this would mean cheating the system. I asserted and voiced that I was not comfortable with this idea.
John resorted back saying that we had agreed on being efficient to visit as much of Denmark as possible. He reiterated that it was almost impossible to get caught and he had already originally planned to take train rides throughout the trip, without paying. He said I was being difficult, and that I would be too troublesome and unaccommodating to travel with!
I attempted to convince the group to travel by foot considering the close proximity of the next destination, but to no avail. Everyone was fixed on the idea which John proposed.
In addition, I did a quick mental calculation and concluded that it would cost me another S$100 if I decided to pay for the train rides. Moreover, I was on a tight budget.
Question
If you were in my situation, how would you react to John’s comment on being a difficult travelling companion and more importantly, what would you have done for the rest of the trip?
After all, if you insist on being troublesome, it is highly likely that no one would want to go on holiday with you again. Losing their friendship would be terrible because you will be losing connections that might prove useful to you in the future.
Of course, for future trips, you can choose travelling mates who had as much a honest conscience like you, so that you do not have to compromise on your principles when travelling.
To be frank, I would be quite upset if my closest friend label me as a difficult travelling companion. However, I don't think it is advisable to display our unhappiness publicly, especially when everyone is in the happy holiday mood. A suggestion would be to talk to your friend in private (during the train ride perhaps), explaining your concern and opinion. Tell him that an integrity issue is involved and it would be troublesome if you guys commit offence in foreign land (even though it may just be a small offence). And like what yun nian has said, it would be a losing situation for you if you have insisted on walking. Most likely everyone would be unhappy with you for delaying their time. Therefore, I second the idea of going with the majority, at least for this time round.
As for the rest of the trip, you should forget about this issue, relax and have fun! Afterall, you spent so much to get to Denmark! I am sure you wouldn't want to jeopardize the rest of your trip over a small unfortunate incident. Be positive and choose to believe that your friend didn't mean what he said at that moment in time.
It's always a difficult situation whenever money is involved. Especially when it comes to bagpacking trips with tight budget. Personally I feel that it is easier to travel around in smaller group. Consider shrinking your travel group size to around 3 friends for your next trip. It will definitely be easier for the group to make decisions when it comes to sensitive issues.
If I were you being the only person who has objection, I would go along with the majority of the group. It is ok to have a different voice, but since nobody agreed with you and it would be even worse if you didn't go with them, why don't you just take a step back and follow the rest of the groupmates? At that point of time, I would just relax and take it easy.
However, I would learn from this conflict that the people in the group may not be the right travel mates I m looking for in future trips. I would rather keep looking for suitable travel mates than stick to the people I disagree with.
Personally, I have rather strong views with regards to certain moral principles because of my belief. My conscience would not be letting me off if I chose to cheat the system.
This brings me to a big problem. I would properly explain my reasons and my stand for not wanting to cheat the system. I would offer other alternatives like what you did when you suggested walking. But I would be prepared for the worse case of walking there alone and meeting the group there at a later time.
Honestly I'm not sure if I would really do this if I am really placed in that situation but this is what I hope I would do.