This course has ascertained the importance of active listening for effective communication, as discussed in my first blog. Through the process of developing active listening, it not only improved my verbal communication skills with others, it has more essentially taught me a core principle of effective communication – mutual respect - which can be applied to most situations.
Since a communication process involves a two way interaction, I realized that effective communication fundamentally revolves around mutual respect. This can be exemplified in the following ways: intercultural interactions (respecting other cultures by being sensitive and being non-judgmental), written communication (respecting readers by being sensitive when formulating bad news letters), conflict resolutions (respecting the needs of each person through win-win situations), attending a meeting (respecting and being receptive to ideas of other members), attending an interview (respecting the interviewers and the organisation in the way we dress and speak) or even delivering an oral presentation (having respect for the audience to build rapport). Therefore through mutual respect, the focus on the audience and self is healthily balanced.
As I would be graduating by the end of next semester, the lessons on resume writing and job application were the most appropriate for me. I learnt about the proper formatting used in the resume, and the importance of highlighting relevant information and work experiences for a more persuasive job application letter. This course also provided a comprehensive list of potential interview questions which would undeniably be useful for tackling an interview. All these would surely place me in an advantageous position over other job applicants.
Furthermore, the video taping of the oral presentation was exceptionally useful for self-evaluation and to improve on our future presentations. The research project has also taught me the importance of team work and its collective effort in accomplishing a task efficiently. I had a wonderful semester with my project group mates CG, Miranda and Joyce!
To top things up, this course was made enjoyable because of the open communication system we had in class. It was obvious that my classmates were sincere about learning as everyone was helpful and encouraging.
Thanks to all my classmates for this great experience and especially Ms Kim for the hard work she invested throughout the semester, in planning and delivering the lessons and meticulously checking through our piles of assignments.
Kudos to all!
I am a 4th year Mechanical Engineering undergraduate at the National University of Singapore. I am an optimistic and enthusiastic person who acquires fulfilment in life through my passion – teaching. My knowledge in counselling, motivation, leadership and transfer of skills has seen me undertake educational roles as a classroom teacher in secondary and primary schools, swimming instructor at the competitive and recreation levels and a lay speaker in churches. I am also a web designer for various corporate clients and a volunteer designer to a few non-profit sites. I live to pursue achievement, yet seek contentment – my balance in life.
Overcoming our challenges
Passion, our group’s research topic, has seen us through an arduous yet fulfilling learning journey in this project. From the start, this research topic very much appealed to us. However, we never expected the challenges that would come our way.
As we embarked on our research and survey questions, we found that this topic became increasingly abstract, as it encompasses numerous psychology theories. Being unfamiliar with these psychology concepts such as personalities, motivation etc, we had to ensure that we understood them clearly before proceeding with our report. Furthermore, due to our group’s tight schedule and as this module required us to submit drafts of sections progressively, we had to work in a relatively controlled and structured manner, which did not allow the flexibility for our group to exercise our preferred working style. For example, I felt that we needed more time to be allocated for research in the initial stages, instead of working on the draft of the introduction which is of course also important, but of less priority than our research.
Despite these challenges, our group remained synergised. Open-minded discussions were held even though there were differences in opinions. Though it was not easy, we were willing to accept the diversity of ideas in order to generate the best idea. Moments of disagreements inevitably surfaced, but stronger friendships were continuously being forged among the group members as we learnt more about each other as a unique individual. Clear signs of empathy for each other were evident when tiredness was displayed through non-verbal cues during busier periods. Encouragement, optimism and cheerfulness within the group certainly overwhelmed fatigue. Our group members were proactive, timely and cooperative in their work.
I have learnt how important honesty and transparency in communication are, in resolving issues and also forming an effective team. It was a surely a joyful experience for me. Interestingly, I felt that it was our group’s deep interest i.e. passion, in this topic that might have been our group's main motivation!
I recently attended a house event ‘Bhangra Nite 08’ organised by CouchSurfing (Singapore), a community set up to encourage international networking of people. The theme of the event was - Bhangra, a type of Punjabi dance music. On arrival, the attendee’s foreheads were each decorated with a bindi – traditionally worn by married Hindu women, but was used that night to create a common identity among the attendees. Most non-Indian attendees initially expressed a moment of surprise, but instantly turned into delight when explained the purpose of the bindi.
The event began with a collective introduction of all the attendees, most of them were lively, others somewhat shy. Being ‘Bhangra Nite’, I expected the majority of the attendees to be Indians. But to my surprise, there were only a handful of Indians, and the others present were from a diverse mix of cultures and nationalities such as France, Japan, Hungary, USA, India, China, Singapore etc. Some non-Indians were even dressed in Sari. After introduction, the attendees naturally mingled and chatted with each other, while Indian snacks and drinks were being served. The event then proceeded with its highlight of the night, Bhangra. The music played, and two Indian nationals demonstrated and patiently explained the meanings of the dance steps. Everyone participated eagerly. There was sheer joy and laughter, scattered with chuckles of embarrassment in the background when some were not able to keep up with certain complicated dance steps. The event came to a close with exchanges of contacts, photo takings and warm and friendly hugs.
Interpretation
Throughout the event, I was impressed with the extensive cultural exchange, which undoubtedly promoted opportunities for intercultural integration and understanding among the various nationalities. Personally, I felt an immense sense of open-mindedness and acceptance among the attendees. In terms of verbal communication, not all was proficient in English, but nonetheless, everyone made efforts to listen actively and hence communicated effectively. I have also learnt that non-verbal cues can be expressed through certain Bhangra dance steps, for instance, the famous courtship dance around a tree. Although the attendees set themselves as being part of the mainstream Indian culture for this event, they however, kept to their own respective sub-cultural identities during the introduction and mingling sessions.
Wrong job, Dentist! Issue
Lack of passion at the workplace.
Description of issue
Through my daily interactions with friends and family, the topic on job dissatisfaction has been relatively prominent. Most of them expressed unhappiness with the demands of their job requirements and their lack of motivation to work. As work becomes an integral part of our life, dissatisfaction at work is synonymous to dissatisfaction in life, especially for full time employees. If not managed responsibly, this would cause repercussions to one’s own physical health, mental being, family life etc.
Steve Jobs, CEO of Apple Computer and of Pixar Animation Studios, reinstated, “the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did”. Certainly, it wasn’t how much he could earn. However for many of us, the chase for immediate rewards such as salaries and job statuses has become the sole criteria of a job search, and unfortunately, this is done at the expense of forgoing what we genuinely enjoy doing.
For example, my friend who graduated as a Mechanical Engineer decided to forsake his strong interest in robotics and machines, to pursue a career in a prestigious bank as a finance officer. His reason – the bank offered him a higher salary as compared to the engineering job. In a span of two years, he has switched between three other banks and he constantly complains of being unhappy with his job. Consequently, this has affected his self confidence and esteem.
Therefore, I feel that there is an immediate need to emphasize the importance of incorporating passion to work, which eventually leads to a better quality of life.
General Research Question
How passionate are Singapore graduates about their job?
Why survey?
This survey would be used to validate the above-mentioned research question. Questions would encompass aspects of the employee’s degree of enjoyment at work, satisfaction of job scope etc. With the data collected, detailed analysis can be performed to highlight the areas which need to be improved in order to increase the passion an employee has in his/her job.
Background Information
- In Denmark, train rides are expensive (each ride is about an additional S$15 just for a short trip).
- There is only a ticketing booth, but no gantries to ensure that commuters have paid for train access.
- This is solely based on a trust system. Inspectors only occasionally come onboard to check.
The Situation
Nine of us decided to take a day trip around the city of Denmark. Our objective was to cover as much of the city as possible. John, my closest friend in the group, had taken the liberty to plan our trip, with us taking the quickest route around the city.
During the trip, John revealed that, in order to save on travelling time, we would travel by train despite the fact that the next destination would only be a stop away. When I heard this, I thought to myself that this would mean incurring unnecessary costs for ourselves and moreover, all of us were fit enough to walk the short distance. It was here that I suggested that we walk to the next destination since it would only take us an average of twenty minutes by foot.
John replied that they were not paying for the train rides as he had found a foolproof method of deceiving payment. Hence, there was no chance of getting caught if the train inspectors checked. The rest of the group nodded their heads in agreement, without much hesitation and thought. However, it dawned upon me that this would mean cheating the system. I asserted and voiced that I was not comfortable with this idea.
John resorted back saying that we had agreed on being efficient to visit as much of Denmark as possible. He reiterated that it was almost impossible to get caught and he had already originally planned to take train rides throughout the trip, without paying. He said I was being difficult, and that I would be too troublesome and unaccommodating to travel with!
I attempted to convince the group to travel by foot considering the close proximity of the next destination, but to no avail. Everyone was fixed on the idea which John proposed.
In addition, I did a quick mental calculation and concluded that it would cost me another S$100 if I decided to pay for the train rides. Moreover, I was on a tight budget.
Question
If you were in my situation, how would you react to John’s comment on being a difficult travelling companion and more importantly, what would you have done for the rest of the trip?
Develop active listening
Relationships within my social life such as my family, friends, colleagues and superiors are important to me. Thus, forging a healthy social circle requires that I learn to listen actively during interaction with others. However, I face certain challenges, such as when communicating with those I have known for a long period of time.
Familiarity breeds contempt. This is defined by The New Dictionary of Cultural Literacy as, “the better we know people, the more likely we are to find fault with them”. In my family, for example, when my father’s not agreeable on a certain issue, my mind immediately shuts off all explanations he has to offer, and I wander into my own cloud of perception. “Being the unsupportive person he is, he’s never going to agree on this!” With this preconceived assumption, the discussion comes to an abrupt closure.
My mental barrier – I subconsciously formulated a fixed mindset of how my father was going to react, what he was going to say, and the intentions behind what he was about to say. It would have been wiser of me if I had adopted an active listening approach, by not being judgemental on my dad’s content and behaviour based on past experiences. Furthermore, if I had taken the time and effort to listen to his points of view, this would have put me in an advantageous position to engage in an objective discussion and hopefully persuade him for the better or even gather some new insights from him!
Extending this scenario beyond my family, I need to constantly remind myself to be open-minded to others as well. Judging a person instantly prevents effective communication and discussions. Therefore, I believe that active listening is important not only to improve relationships through mutual understanding, but with a greater diversity of ideas, it also helps in making better decisions.
